Editor-Proof Your Writing by Don McNair

Author:Don McNair [McNair, Don]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General Fiction
Publisher: Linden Publishing

Same problem. A third party is telling us the character is thinking something, and is using two fog words—“he thought”—to do it. We could use interior dialogue as above, of course. But let’s try another form:

I’ll take the big one.

Italicizing thoughts makes very effective internal monologue, particularly when mixed with action. It makes the thoughts more immediate, as in:

I’ll take the big one. He grabbed the larger box and…

Fictional characters—and we live writers/readers—sometimes add their own filters. Take, for example, this sentence:

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